Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
