lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
