No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize