Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through