Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.