So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch