I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
