either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
