i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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