If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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