i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
