Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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