By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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