I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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