You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
