I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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