I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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