I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
