I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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