Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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