there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
