just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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