So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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