And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
