He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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