remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My vagina just clenched in fear
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
