he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My vagina just recognized that song.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
