I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
everyone is single if you try hard enough
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
