Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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