Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
