she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
