Only a mothe r could love this liver
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
