so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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