okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
