I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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