Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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