Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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