We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
