Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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