Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
