I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
