It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
love makes seman taste better
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
