found the other keg... it's in the tree
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
