Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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