The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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