I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
