He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
