And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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