When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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