I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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