And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
this boner is exhausting
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
