doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My ass is underappreciated
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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