Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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