I bet he comes in French.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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