When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
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dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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