ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
