Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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