Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
