My room smells like vodka and shame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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