those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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