how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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