shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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