I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
