i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
