I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
