I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
