we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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